Never Date Anyone Dumber than your Dog

Talking with friends about "dates from hell."   This one needed a poem. 

Never date anyone dumber than your dog

I should have known.
When he veered away from any talk of books
Like a drunken bicyclist

Humor low, heavy as a sagging belly
Scatological
Or blond
Not getting any other plays of wit
Or words

He had already begun
To back away
Head lowered,
Belligerent as a thwarted bull
When he took up the tennis ball
On the way out to his truck.

First feint,
And the dog looked baffled, then accusing
At the hand, still holding the ball
Despite the promise of pull back
And forward lunge.

Laughter at his own joke,
Outwitting the bitch,
He honks
Like some old car horn.

Then,
Since it worked once,
Another feint.
This time, the wise old dog
Trots to a patch of shade
Not even a glance

Good dog!